H-O-M-O-SEX-U-A-LI-TY

Click Here to listen to “H-O-M-O-Sex-U-ALITY”.

“H-O- M-O SEX-U-A-LITY”

From the musical, “A Tribute To The Memory Of You”
by Denny Hamann

(This song is lively, funny, bouncing from teacher to class.  Miss Righteous soundly smacks the blackboard with her ruler * in syncopation to the music.  She sings loudly, mildly off key with an annoying, warbling vibrato we so often hear in church.  One always stands out, yet she thinks she sings sweetly.)

H-O-M-O-Sex-U-A-Lity.   That’s a sin, you see.
H-O-M-O-Sex-U-A-Lity.   That’s per-ver-si-ty.
Now, normal boys will like the girls.  And pull their hair and grab their curls.
But boys and boys must never play.  For its’ a sin to turn out gay!
H-O-M-O-Sex-U-A-Lity.   This is what I say.
If you’re an H-O- M-O-S-E-X-U-Al,  you won’t last one day.

BIFF: (raises his hand and rises to ask)  But, why not, Miss Righteous?
M.R.  (Angrily shaking her ruler in Biff’s face.)  Because if you do, God will strike you down and kill you with his right hand of righteousness.
Biff:  (frightened) Oh.  (sheepishly sits down)
(M.R. Continues singing loudly and forcefully with class responding and echoing her words.  (class echo)  She uses her ruler as a conductor’s baton and weapon to cue the (class) for their parts as she sings with them and teaches homophobia.  The class becomes more exciteable as the song progresses.  See score for syncopation and parts)

H – (H) -O -(O) -M-O-Sex-u-a-ity.  That’s a sin, you see.
H-(H)-O-(O)-M-O-Sex-u,-a,-lity.  That’s per-ver-si-ty.
Now, normal boys will like the girls.  (G-I-R-L-S.)
And pull their hair and grab their curls.  (C-U-R-L-S)
But boys and boys must never  (P-L-A-Y)
For its’ a sin to turn out  (G-A-Y)
H-(H)-O-(O)-M,-O,-Sex,-u,-a,-lity. Tell me what you say.
If you’re an H-O-M-O-S-E-X-U-AL, you won’t last one day.

M.R.  (pages through bible)  Now let me check my bible.
(Class does a dance to this musical parody of Mr. Rogers theme, using the H-O-M-O melody, becoming disruptive, chaotic, and borderline homophobic.).  Well, I can’t find it right now, but I know it’s in there some place.  (Turns to class like an orchestra conductor and raps ruler on music stand.  Class!  Come to order!  (rap, rap)  Ready Class?  Now sing!
(begins directing as class sings piously, in hymnlike style, in harmony, acapella )

(H-O-M-O-Sex-u-a-lity.)   That’s a sin, you see.  As far as you’re concerned.
(H-O-M-O-Sex-u-a-lity.)  That’s per-ver-si-ty.  (This is what I have learned)
Now, normal boys will like the girls.  And pull their hair and grab their curls.
(Billy pulls girl’s hair)
M.R.:  Billy, stop that.

(But boys and boys must never play.  For its’ a sin, sin, sin, to turn out gay!)
H-O-M-O-SEX-U-U-Lity.  This is what I say.  (harmony)  Oooo, Ahhhh!
If you’re an H-O-M-O-S-E-X-U-ALl!  You’re not gonna’ make it!
M.R. Why not?
Cause he’s not gonna’ take it . . . . One Day!
(class mate) Biff is a sissy.