Country Western Songs
by Denny Hamann
40 Years and Counting
When you’re forty years and counting
One grey hair is on your mind.
You’ve got something going on inside of you.
You’ve got troubles around you,
But don’t let it confound you.
There’s something that you really gotta do.
Just find a new thing. Pretty young thing.
You’re not growing old my friend. Oh no, not you.
Just buy a new car. A shiny Jaguar.
You’re not growing old, my friend. Oh no. Not you.
She was wife ’n’ mama to ya.
Bore your kids ’n’ came along
But, there’s somethin’ that’s gone wrong
In spite of you
She’s grown old right there beside you
But you don’t feel old inside you.
And there’s something that you think you otta do.
Just a little dab’ll do ya.
Change the color of your hair.
Color up what’s really wrong inside of you.
It’s the others around you. Get out before they drown you.
You need to change your life, here’s what to do.
Just find a new thing. A pretty young thing.
You’re not growing old my friend. Oh no, not you.
Just buy a new car. A shiny Jaguar.
You’re not growing old my friend. Oh no. Not you.
Well your young thing found a new man.
Packed her bags and moved along.
And your wife is now with someone young and true
She has found herself a new fling.
Who’s giving her the real thing.
Seems you’re growing old inside in spite of you.
Now you’re all alone and counting.
Sixty years you left behind you.
And what used to work do’t work so good no more.
You got troubles around you.
But this time no answer’s found you
And there’s no time left to think of what to do.
You sit all alone. You stare at the phone.
No one cares for someone getting old like you.
You made a mistake. That makes your heart break.
Nothing left to do, my friend. Your life is through.
But at forty years and counting,
What gray hair is on your mind.
You got something going on inside of you.
You got troubles around you. But don’t let it confound you.
There’s something that you really got to do.
Just find a new thing. A pretty young thing.
You’re not growing old my friend. Oh no, not you.
Just buy a new car. A shiny Jaguar.
You’re not growing old my friend. Oh no. Not you.
The Shorts That Bind Me
(chorus)
These are the shorts that bind me. Reminding me of you
These are the shorts that bind me. The way you used to do.
These are the shorts that bind me, with hearts and arrows too.
They grab me, move me squeeze me, please me,
Like you used to do.
(verse)
1.
She bought ’em from a salesman who had lectured her one day.
About the shorts and games that men can play.
Perfection and erection is the magic they can do.
Hearts and arrows mark the spot where love comes proudly through!
(Repeat chorus:)
2.
You loved to have me wear ’em and parade around the room.
The front of me was bursting out with pride.
And to the bed you’d lead me, you had lovin’ in your eyes.
Hearts and arrows mark the spot where you were satisfied!
(Repeat chorus:)
3.
I’m walkin’ down the street and feeling pickin’in my seat.
There’s something that’s a grabbin’ at my loin.
Then suddenly I think of you and things we used to do.
Hearts and arrows mark the spot a’ stirring in my groin!
(Repeat chorus:)
4.
You once were satisfied with boxer shorts and bursting pride.
The tightness of those shorts began to grow.
Then suddenly those shorts no longer held your lovin’ eyes.
Hearts and arrows lost the spot and now it’s time to go!
(Repeat chorus:)
5.
So now you’ve gone away, but these old shorts are gonna’ stay.
Remembering the games we used to play.
They’ve even got a hole to play thru, with or without you.
Hearts and arrows mark the spot my hand is guided through!
(Repeat chorus and end. Chorus’s may be omitted as needed to shorten song)
(crowd hoots and hollers as the song progresses. Can be choreograph
